


Einarr

by GeminiStep



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-21
Updated: 2011-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-19 15:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiStep/pseuds/GeminiStep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young Loki makes a friend in some old ruins as he tries to deal with his brother pulling away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Einarr

**Author's Note:**

> This came about as an attempt at catharsis for me. It seemed decent enough to share with others so I am posting it. A second author’s note at the end will reveal the reason for this story’s existence as well as a dedication.
> 
> The story is set long before the movie as they are both children here.
> 
> The Thor/Loki is very pre-slash. Loki doesn't realize why he feels the way he does and Thor kind of does, but is trying to repress it.

The first time Loki encountered the cat he had slipped away into the forest to be alone.  Thor and his friends had gone off on another adventure, leaving the young prince behind.  At first this occurrence had been rare, but lately Loki found it to be happening all too often.  As had been his custom of late, the boy went into the woods whenever his brother ignored his presence for that of his new friends.

 _I don’t understand why I cannot go along_ , Loki thought bitterly _.  It is not my fault that I am smaller than my older brother.  It is true I cannot wield weapons the way they can, but I have increased my abilities in magic.  I am just as capable as the Warriors Three and Sif in battle.  Thor should be asking_ me _to go with him to deal with the trolls, not_ them.

Loki sat on a log and glared at nothing, trying to come up with some way to get his brother to go back to paying attention to him.  He missed the days it was just the two of them running around Asguard and getting into all kinds of mischief.  Now those four nuisances had entered his life and were attempting to take his brother from him and he refused to let that happan.

A soft, pained cry from the old ruins the edge of the clearing pulled Loki out of his harsh thoughts. 

Ever curious, even when angry, Loki decided to investigate what could have made the sound.  The young prince headed towards the center of the ruined fort, where he thought the cry had originated.  As he scrambled over some fallen stonework he discovered that a young cat had been trapped by a large piece of rubble. 

Upon seeing Loki the cat began hissing in an attempt to scare the boy away.  Ignoring the reaction, Loki slowly stepped closer, careful to keep his movements even and unhurried, lest he distress the cat further.  Loki sank to the ground just out of range of the cat’s claws, doing nothing else to agitate the trapped creature.  The cat calmed slightly as Loki continued to simply watch it, not attempting to hurt it in any way.

After a time, Loki pulled out the food he’d stolen from the kitchens before he left and offered the cat a bit of the beef.  Once that was placed where the cat could reach Loki picked up a pair of rocks and went in search of the stream that ran its course past the ruins.  A simple spell changed the first rock’s shape into that of a shallow bowl, the second spelled into the shape of a pitcher.  Loki returned with water and poured some from the pitcher into the bowl and placed that next to the cat.

“Eat up.  You will not get much else from anyone else.”  Loki sat down, keeping careful distance between himself and the cat.

They stayed that way, boy and cat, for several hours.  In that time the young prince observed the trapped creature.  The cat was thin from having to fend for itself and wore an expression of both hunger and distrust.  The long fur was a mix of browns, blacks, and whites and large pale blue eyes warily observed him back.  Paws were tensed in anticipation of striking.  It was clearly alone and despite the circumstances that the animal had found itself in, it still would defend itself no matter what. 

Close to two hours passed before the cat tentatively nibbled on the beef and lapped up some of the cool water in the stone bowl.  Loki kept his expression blank at that.  Inside he was grinning that the creature was willing to trust him enough to take his offerings, but knew that any outward change might spook the creature. 

 _This will be good practice_ , Loki thought.  _In the past too many of my jokes have been given away by my facial expression.  It will also be a skill for when I go to Father’s Court.  Many of the noble idiots give away their true intentions by their faces and eyes.  I am a weak child to them, yet I can see what they miss.  Animals often use more than just their eyes to sense intentions and if I can learn to manipulate creatures, more ‘intelligent’ beings will be easy to deal with_ , Loki rationalized. 

He refused to think that the real reason he wanted to befriend the cat was because he was alone as well and needed someone to talk to on occasion.  He had always been almost as good at lying to himself as to others.

As dusk approached the trapped cat seemed to slip into a doze, and Loki recognized the opportunity before him.  Moving as noiselessly as he could and casting a spell to keep his shadow from falling on the cat, Loki knelt beside it.  Carefully and gently he grasped the large rock and lifted it off the cat.

It snapped awake at the shift in weight and tore into Loki’s hands with its nails and teeth before running into the woods.  Loki allowed himself a small smile at that, despite the pain in his hands.

 _I might react like that if I were trapped and suddenly had the chance to flee.  Hope it doesn’t find itself near any other rocks, though.  I won’t be willing to help it a second time if this is how it reacts_ , Loki decided as he headed back to his home with an illusion in place to cover the wounds on his hand.

***

A week passed by before Loki found himself back at the ruins.  It was a feast night, but he could not bear to be in the presence of his peers. 

Of course his big brother and friends had returned in triumph after destroying the trolls that had been terrorizing mortals.  Loki could not stand the look of pride and affection that Thor had as he recounted how Sif had taken out three that had surrounded her all by herself. 

 _With my magic, I could have easily taken out more.  Thor should have looked at me like that, not Sif, never Sif.  He is my brother and I should be the one by his side._ Loki shook that thought aside.  There were too many conflicting emotions there for him to want to examine at the moment.

He sat on the ground in the same spot he had when he’d found that cat before.  The scratches had healed later that night and his hands bore no scaring.

 _I wonder what happened to that cat_ , Loki wondered idly.  _Probably got itself into trouble again._

Loki lit a second torch to go with the one he’d used to light his way, placing it at the edge of the first torch’s glow in order to provide him a large area in which he could see.  Sitting down, the young prince opened the basket he had carried to the forest and pulled out food he’d taken from the banquet and began to eat. 

Following a rare urge to do something impulsive, Loki tore off a piece of meat and threw it to the edge of the light.  He was curious to see if some creature would brave being seen in order to get an easy meal.  Using the edges of his vision, Loki kept watch on where the meat lay.  To pass the time he amused himself with thinking up tricks he might play on the Warriors Three in order to make them seem as helpless as they treated him every time they told him he was too weak to follow along.

Movement at the periphery of the circle caught his attention, although Loki continued to stare ahead instead of where the unknown creature was.  Out of the corner of his eye he watched as something slunk out of the darkness.  To his surprise, the flickering light revealed that his visitor was the cat that had found itself trapped before.

 _It must live around here_ , Loki calculated.  _Otherwise it would have avoided an area that posed danger to it.  I wonder if I can actually befriend it and make a pet out of it.  I certainly won’t tell Brother about the cat.  If he is to have his friends without me, then I intend to have a friend he won’t be allowed around_.

***

With the decision made, Loki quickly began to implement his scheme.  He tried to make time in the early evening every few days to visit the ancient fort.  He always brought fresh meat with him.  At first it was placed at the same distance he’d thrown the first piece.  As the cat kept coming back Loki began to talk softly to it, telling it all about his week and what he had been up to.  The young prince found the interaction soothing and helped relieve some of the frustration whenever he’d been left behind. 

Soon the boy found himself rushing through his lessons, learning as fast as he could in order to get to the ruins earlier.  In some ways, his brother’s recent adventures helped.  Their tutors were too busy trying to make Thor stay in one place long enough to learn for them to pay attention to where Loki got off to once he was done.   They were more relieved to have escaped another lesson without mischief occurring than concerned with the location of the younger prince.




As the cat appeared to become relaxed as time passed, Loki began moving the piece of meat closer to him.  It ended up taking close to a half year, but eventually he was able to hand feed the smaller creature.  It was still another month before Loki was able to pick up the cat without acquiring scratches and bites that he’d have to hide from everyone.  It was eight months after Loki first rescued the cat before he was able to take a look at the gender and find that his new friend was male.

***

Loki began to follow the cat around the forest.  He rationalized his actions as a way to practice his illusions.  While it was easy enough to make himself invisible, he soon discovered that smell and noise were a whole different challenge.  Never one to back down, Loki pursed his books of magic, looking for simple spells that would hide both scent and sound.  He tried out each one he discovered until he created the perfect combination of spells so he could trail his small friend unnoticed.

The cat remained unnamed for a long time.  Loki had never been one to rush decisions.  He’d found that rushing often led to fatal mistakes that could have been avoided.  While naming his friend wasn’t life or death, he found the general principle to be the same.  It wasn’t until Loki watched the cat defend its territory from another cat that Loki chose to name him Einarr.  Einarr was quite clever for his species and very quickly learned to respond to his given name.  Loki truly appreciated the intelligence his friend displayed and did his best to spend as much time as he unobtrusively could with the cat.

Loki often used the excuse that he wanted to study without interruption to explain his frequent absence from the palace.  The tutors bought the excuse and left him to his own devices as long as he showed adequate progress.  It let them concentrate on knocking knowledge into his brother’s thicker head.

A part of him hoped that Thor would have challenged him on all the time he was spending by himself, but as usual his idiot brother was too absorbed in his friends to pay much attention.  In return, Loki began using tricks to win items for Einarr from those that were replacing him.  He knew it was petty, but it gave him some satisfaction and benefited his friend.

The first item Loki acquired was Fandral’s favorite hair brush.  He enjoyed the way Fandral still tried to figure out why Loki desired such an odd item.  Loki found that Einarr permitted him to brush him every once in a while and Loki knew that Fandral would be extremely vexed to learn that his favorite hair brush was being used on a feral cat.  To the young prince’s delight, Einarr took on a lean, sleek look once the matted fur was brushed out and dead hair removed.

The second item came from the most stoic of the three.  Hogun eventually yielded his best knife to the boy, who took it with him on his trips to the forest.  It was often used to skin and prepare the prey Einarr brought to him.  It had become a ritual of theirs as time passed that Einarr presented Loki his kills and Loki would take part of the larger kills and cook it for himself over a fire.  In return, Loki always brought meat with him to share with his friend as well.

One day Loki stumbled on the space in the ancient fort that Einarr seemed to consider his home.  It was a small, well protected alcove in the middle of the ruins.  Upon seeing the hard surface his small friend slept on, Loki knew exactly what he’d be tricking out of Volstagg.  A drinking game, in which Loki had to cheat to win, gave Loki Volstagg’s best cloak.  It was a stained, well used item, but the cloth was incredibly soft and served as good padding for hard surfaces.  Loki arranged it on the floor of Einarr’s alcove and was delighted to find the smaller creature asleep on it the next time he visited.

Loki had yet to think of something to take from Sif and his brother.  The way he was replacing him with her demanded something special to take for Einarr.

As Thor pulled further away from his younger brother, leaving him all alone to go on grand adventures with his friends, Loki sought the solitude of the woods and Einarr all the more often.

***

“I am glad you are my friend, Einarr.  I am tired of being alone at the palace.”  Loki told his furred companion on his latest trip to the ruins. 

The young prince had been visiting with the cat for ten years.  Despite the passage of time, Loki still looked to be the same eleven years he’d appeared to be when he first rescued Einarr.  Although age had not touched Loki’s appearance, as his aging differed greatly than that of mortal creatures, Einarr was showing his own age.  He was becoming as thin has he’d been the first time Loki encountered him, although what was still there was all lean muscle.  Once swift movement had lessened and often Einarr seemed to calculate whether he could make a jump he used to be able to do without thought.  Part of Loki knew that he wouldn’t have much more time with his small friend.

“No one will have anything to do with me,” Loki continued as he sat next to Einarr.  “Mother and Father are too busy at Court to spend time with me.  The other nobles mock me as the lesser son when they think I am not around.  As for my brother, Thor has more time for his fellows than he does me.  Any time I try to go with them, he tells me it is not my place and to go back to my books.”

Einarr yawned and stretched his paws out; clacking his nails against the stone he lay on.

Loki laughed out at his friend’s reaction.  “I agree.  Today the five of them were going to hunt that strange wolf pack that’s been attacking people on the other side of Asgard, never mind that a large group of soldiers had already been dispatched to accomplish the task.  They felt that only the five of them were needed to stop those beasts.  I offered to help as my magic allows me to move about unnoticed, but Brother told me he didn’t want me following him.  Father agreed with him.”

Reaching out, Loki rubbed Einarr’s head before stroking his back.  ‘How am I to prove that I can hold my own if they don’t let me go with them?” The cat simply purred at the young prince’s attentions, causing Loki to laugh.  “Why do I ask you these things?  It is not as if you are able to reply.”

Suddenly Einarr jumped to his feet and hissed at the woods on the far side of the ruins.  Loki quickly pulled out his knife and cast the spells of hiding that he’d developed while following Einarr, hiding the pair from sight.  Tensing, he waited to see what alarmed his small friend.

Slowly eight large wolf-like creatures stalked into the rings of light the torches put out.  Loki could not rightly call them wolves as they resembled wolves the way wolves resembled dogs.  There were similarities, but that was all.  They were twice the size of normal wolves, and unlike normal wolves they showed no hesitance at approaching other creatures.  Their appearance was something Loki had never seen.  Each one had an elongated muzzle, revealing several extra sets of large canines.  Large patches of fur were missing in sporadic places on the muscular bodies and the skin revealed by the baldness was a sickly red in shade.

Loki could sense the magic running throughout the bodies of the strange wolf-beasts.  Without any doubt he knew they were the pack that had been attacking his people and by their appearance he realized that they had been created and sent expressly for that purpose.

“Damn,” Loki cursed softly, realizing the trouble he was in.

He had no way to call for help as he had not yet found a reliable spell for that purpose.  Teleportation and flight were still shaky at best for the young prince.  He knew he wasn’t up to taking another creature with him should he try either, but absolutely refused to abandon Einarr to those beasts.  He couldn’t send off an illusion of himself because that took precious concentration he would not have to spare if the beasts attacked.  He couldn’t even count on Heimdall seeing his plight, as Father had the Guardian keeping a close eye on some important situation out in the cosmos.  Father hadn’t even let the darker god shift his gaze long enough to tell the warriors exactly where the pack was.

Loki backed up until he had the wall with Einarr’s alcove at his back.  Not ideal defensively, but it would keep the creatures from sneaking up on him.  Einarr pressed up against the young prince’s leg as the pack fanned out to pen them in.  To his shock, Loki realized that they could see through his spells and tell exactly where he was.  Deciding not to waste his energy on useless enchantments, he let the magic go and readied one of his energy balls in his right hand, Hogun’s knife clutched in his left.

The lead wolf-beast charged towards Loki and Einarr.  The other seven followed closely behind.

***

In the end Loki and Einarr were the only two creatures left standing.  The battle had been vicious and bloody, but the pack was finally dead. 

Loki sank to the ground, unable to find the energy to remain standing.  He bore a ragged bite to his left arm and several deep slashes on both his chest and back.  Once fine clothing had been reduced to a state not fit even for use as rags.

“I think I have energy enough left to send out an illusion to get help,” Loki spoke into the silence.  “Would you like to finally go to the palace, Einarr?”

At the silence, Loki lifted his head to search for his small friend.  Years before, Einarr had taken to meowing in response whenever Loki talked and the lack of reply truly scared him.  To his horror, he found the cat slumped against one of the stone walls, panting harshly.

Slowly crawling toward his friend, Loki felt like it took years to reach the small body, though in reality it was just a couple minutes.  Einarr seemed to sense the Asgardian’s presence and lifted his head, pushing into the hand that rubbed his fur, mouth opening in a silent attempt to speak.

Loki never before hated his intelligence more than he did at that moment.  His brain listed off all of the damage that had been wrought to his friend.  The unfocused eyes and partially closed third eyelid indicated neurological damage while the labored panting and state of the chest indicated damage to at least one lung.  The boy’s brain was telling him his friend was dying, while his heart protested the facts.

There was no way Loki would be able to save Einarr.  All he could do was make him comfortable as he passed.  A whispered spell sent the old cat into a sleep that not even the pain from his wounds could touch.

Loki held Einarr to his chest as night chased twilight away and his friend’s soul left his body.

***

Thor raced through the forest in search of his missing brother. 

He had arrived home after the warriors Father had let him go with had been unable to locate the wolves that had been attacking his people.  Volstagg laughed and said that those beasts were too afraid of the four of them that they refused to show their cowardly faces.  Sif had primly pointed out that they were five, not four and Fandral stated that the wolves were too busy laughing at how much Volstagg had eaten on the trip to be able to fight.  Hogun and the older soldiers simply ignored them in favor of watching for any signs of their quarry.

As they neared the palace, Thor began to feel a small amount of unease in his gut.  Seeing no reason for the feeling, he suppressed it for the time being.  It wasn’t until his mother met with them that the unease exploded into full out anxiety.

There had been a report of an attack by the wolves on the other side of the palace.  Mother was concerned as she was unable to find Loki and worried for his safety if he had gone into the forest again.  Thor didn’t wait for his four friends to follow as he ran towards the ancient fort where he knew his brother enjoyed spending time.

 _If only I had let my brother accompany me on this trip he wouldn’t have been out in the forest_ , Thor berated himself.  _I didn’t want him to get hurt and thought he’d be safer at the palace.  I forgot how easily he finds mischief these days even when I am not around._

Thor quickly squashed the other thoughts that followed on the heels of that one, the thoughts that whispered exactly why he was spending less time with his brother.  The real reason was something he had been trying to repress for years.  The dread that something could have happened to Loki because Thor was trying to ignore what was between them was suddenly pushing for his notice even as he tried to look for signs of him.

Quiet sobbing pulled his attention to the back of the ruins, a distance from the edge of the torches he’d initially headed towards.  The scene that greeted him when he found the source of the noise was something he’d never anticipated.

Loki, hurt and surrounded by the dead bodies of the very wolves that Thor had meant to kill himself, was staring at something small he clutched in his arms, tears falling unnoticed down his cheeks.  The carnage he sat in the middle of went unnoticed in his grief, as did the obvious wounds Loki’s body bore.

“Loki?  Little brother?” Thor asked gently as he moved towards the hunched form, footsteps loud against the hard stone.

At the sound of his voice, Loki looked up at Thor.  The boy’s green eyes were filled with a sorrow that Thor had never seen before and never wanted to see again, especially on his younger brother.

“They murdered Einarr,” Loki said quietly.  “One of those wolf-beasts was trying to sneak up on me from behind and he attacked it.  Why did Einarr try to fight?  He would have never been able to kill that monster.”

Thor’s heart clenched as he listened, finally seeing the body of the cat Loki held to his chest.  Going on the instinct that served him well over the years, Thor carefully pulled the smaller boy into his arms.

“He was trying to protect you,” Thor replied with gentle confidence.

 He might not be known for using his head as much as Loki did, but Thor was far from dumb.  It was easy to figure out that Einarr was the cat Loki held and that it had died in the battle, most likely trying to protect its master.  The scene before him told the story of what had happened.  All of the wolf-beasts bore the signature signs of the energy spell that Loki preferred to use in training as well as knife wounds.  Thor had spotted Hogun’s old knife embedded in the beast closest to his brother.  That one also bore the signs of mauling by a smaller creature.  Pride washed through him at how capable his younger brother had become as well as grief at the price his brother paid to prove that ability.

As Thor had searched for his brother earlier he’d seen items Loki had collected over the last few years and apparently brought to the ancient fort, including those that had been won off of the Warriors Three.  Thor knew that Loki had been going to the ruins for years and he would bet that Einarr had been the reason.  It was clear that Loki dearly loved the small cat and more than likely the cat loved him back just as much.

“He was trying to protect you,” Thor repeated, “as you were trying to protect him.”  Thor gently lifted his brother into his arms and stood. “It is time to go, Brother,” _I need to get him to the healers.  Most of these wounds look bad_ , Thor thought grimly to himself as he took in the condition his brother was in.

“I can’t leave Einarr alone out here.  He needs me,” Loki said in a panic, blood loss and the onset of shock clouding his thoughts.  “He’s my only friend.  Everyone else hates me.”

“We will take Einarr with us.  Look, he is still in your arms.”  Thor started running as swiftly as he could safely go in the dark.  “When we get home we will see that he is properly taken care of,” Thor promised him.

 _And I will see that you are as well_ , Thor continued silently.  His heart grew heavier still as he thought about how Loki claimed Einarr to be his only friend. _I thought to keep you safe and well protected. Instead I only managed to make you think I hated you._

 _Clearly you fight better than many of Father’s soldiers.  How did I miss that happening?_ Thor thought in wonder before sobering _.  I almost lost you without realizing the danger you were in and I won’t chance that ever happening again.  I promise that I will do a better job of protecting you from now on, even if that means letting you fight by my side in battle rather than remain behind.  I swear you will never again have to go through what you did tonight._

Thor readjusted his grip as Loki turned towards his chest, tears once again falling from closed eyes _.  I won’t risk losing you again._

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to my cat Rocky. 3/15/96 – 5/18/11
> 
> Rocky, you were my best non-human friend for fourteen years. You had many good years left to go. You deserved to go out fighting like Einarr did.


End file.
